The Importance of Identity
When to Get One
When do you get a coach? Do you wait until everything’s on fire, and you really need some help, or is it when you have the self-awareness to try and get help sooner? Sometimes it is a mixture. I always say if you wanna learn how to play the piano or the cello or hit a baseball or whatever, you can do it on your own for sure. However you can like 2x, 3x, or 10 x that when you have a coach.
With a coach you can make exponential growth. Instead of one plus one. It’s 1, 10, 20, a hundred. Coaching gives you the opportunity to 10 x yourself. Sometimes people look at progress in a linear fashion and they’re moving along and they’re getting better and better at X. Like for example, getting better and better at playing the piano. And sometimes a coach will come in and say, have you ever considered the cello? That person had never considered the cello, but maybe they’re uniquely designed for that, and all of a sudden they just take off.
Importance of Identity
Self-confidence and imposter syndrome show up for everybody at some point in their life, and usually it’s when people push into that next level. I remember the first time I did a podcast. There’s the first time you do your own interview and there’s the first time you are interviewed. Each one of those come with these feelings of, “I don’t know if I know how to do this” and that’s imposter syndrome. Then you take the action and you learn from it and suddenly it doesn’t get you in that same space anymore. Then you end up having confidence and you end up having this ability to say “I can do that.” Because now your identity has shifted a little bit.
The Next You
Within business and high performing, whenever you wanna make a new leap into the next version of yourself, you have to work with your identity. The identity is weird because you’re not always aware of what’s happening in your thoughts.
Some of these thoughts happen in a millisecond and you have to actually train yourself to hear what is happening between your thoughts. You have to get to the identity of I can make it happen. Some people have that identity in spades and other people have to develop that
What are you thinking? What is your mindset? What are the values that drive your actions? Those are usually habits. I find that if you can get people to assess the actions they’re doing today that are contributing to the life they have right now. Those actions were usually created about six months earlier in terms of their view of themselves, their identity. It takes time to develop those but once you look back, you see the growth and changes you have made. That is what helps you change the identity to something you want it to be.
What Are You Thinking?
What you tell yourself matter. It impacts how you see yourself. What you think really impacts what you do. What you do impacts how you feel. What you feel impacts how you think. It is a cycle that goes around and around until something breaks it. Sometimes what breaks it is as simple as a question. Where do you wanna be in six months or a year, or five years, or 10 years? What are the actions that you need to do to get you there? What is the mindset that’s getting in the way of doing those actions?
Action Then Confidence
A lot of people want to feel confident first and then take action. However it usually happens in the opposite way. You take action and then the confidence follows. You need to take that first step. Even if it is just a small step, it gets you moving in the right direction. It may seem daunting, but it gives you that slight nudge to just start. Then determine what success is. Success is not determined by completing X, but by starting X. If it’s a workout, your success is not determined by, “did I work out for 40 minutes doing this or that?” The success is “did I change my clothes, put on my shoes and drive to the gym?” Did I start? Because usually if you start, your brain will say, you’ve already spent this time to get here, we may as well finish it.
If you are curious to know more about how I can help you achieve your business or life goals, please contact me: Miriam@leavebetter.com
As someone who has been a therapist for over a decade and has been coaching people for over three decades, I am uniquely qualified to join you on your quest for seeking the best version of you possible.