So a few years ago I took up the cello, with the goal of learning to play well enough that I made someone cry because of the beauty of it. I am a LONG way from there. But occasionally, I actually find tears rolling down my face when there is a particularly harmonious moment.
I have a recital coming up and my teacher chose one of my absolute favorite pieces of music … Gabriel's Oboe. I was so excited to practice and master this piece. However the technicality of the music was much harder than I anticipated and, during my last lesson, I left in tears – not the good kind. I almost uninvited my few friends that I dared to risk to have them witness what happens when cello players get nervous (they get squeeky and out of tune).
So the days following that terrible lesson, I was uber disciplined, trying to tighten all the places that were off – the timing, the pitch, the dynamics.
I think this is the learning process:
Just kill me now.
No, really, I mean it. I am an embarassment to humanity.
Throw shoulders into the harness, nose to the grindstone. Sweat. Tears. Ache.
It's getting better.
It's not all that bad.
Hey, it might actually be ok.
I am proud of this.
I am proud of ME.
For not giving up
and for making something beautiful.
Not a great recording, but if you want to listen, I am the harmony first, melody second. Disclaimer: we are still BABY cellists. Don't judge too harshly. There are some sour notes in there!