Have you ever thought about how the things that really matter to you don't really stay consistent across your lifespan?
Remember as a pre-teen how you had to have that certain toy; as a teen, that certain brand? And then one day, that brand was out and a new one was the "must have."
In high school, it might have been the "in" people that were a must. In college, a specific belief or ideology might be what you used your energy to defend.
As I get older, the things are really care about become fewer and fewer.
Sometimes I think this is a wretched shame. Like my heart is growing old and callous and there is little spontaneous, vivacious life in it.
But at other times, I believe that this is a gift – this caring less. I get upset with greater infreqency. Less energy is spent bemoaning what I don't have or scheeming on how to get what I want. It is quieter inside my soul.
Recently, we tried to watch a movie and the disc wouldn't work in the player. There was a time where I would have been disappointed. Now I just move on to the next thing. I remember having lively "discussions" about certain convictions. Often, my blood would boil at their wrongness and insentivity (I'm sure oblivious to my own shortcomings). Now, it is rare that I will engage in a debate about anything. The absolute most I might do is say, "Well, I can see your point, for sure, but I disagree."
What do I find myself figting for these days?
Keeping other people's chaos out of my daily life.
Caring for my animals .
Finding ideas that make me think and grow.
Nurturing my relationships.
Always having a "what next"
Maintaining a perspective that it is about loving well God and others, not about doing a bunch of guilt-induced hoop-jumping.
And always, without fail:
Talking baby talk to puppies
Making sure I take time to listen to the rain on the roof
Running outside to see sunsets, rainbows and broody clouds
Grinning like a six-year-old with delight when a plane takes off or lands
And screaming my head off on roller-coasters.