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I know a person who texted a mutual friend and said she was having a really rough time.  Mutual friend told me – "you should reach out to her … she's hurting."  I texted hurting person who responded with: Life is good!  I'm good!

Why did she do that?

I know another person who said to me today, "I think I am really good at lying, which is strange, because honesty is my highest value."

Actually, if you lie all the time, honesty is NOT your highest value.  

In the case of the second friend, I think her highest value is compassion / empathy and she can't bear to hurt other people, so she says all sorts of things she doesn't really mean (or she DOESN'T say necessary things) just to keep the peace.  

In the case of the first friend, I believe she told me what she thought I wanted to hear.  I'm not sure what it is all about, but something within her is keeping her from trusting that I can handle if she is not ok.

Often, I am privy to so much more information that most people realize.  Because I know lots of people who know each other and folks tend to trust me with private and personal information, it is not uncommon for me to hear two sides of the same story without each of the participants realizing that I know this from the other position.  What I find so fascinating is the spin that people put on things.  

Occasionally, I'll stretch people some by saying, "I'm not asking you to fill in the gap, but when you think of the current situation, what percentage of the WHOLE TRUTH did you just tell?"  

People usually smile – semi embarrasedly – and then say something like : 37%.  This is especially interesting to do in a group.  The answers usually hover between 15% and 80%.  

It just goes to show that we are not all that honest.  

Ask yourself that question the next time you have a conversation with someone.  You might be surprised at your honesty (or lack of) quotient.