It is one of the hardest things EVER, to let go of hurt, a slight or betrayal.
I recently got a new children's picture book – Zen Shorts – something I do every couple of years. The rules [as there must be some – beautiful illustrations, it must be meaningful with multiple applications, and it is always a plus if it makes me cry when I first read it! 🙂 ]
The story is, in part, about two monks who traveling and came to a river crossing (they are depicted as mice) when this lady mouse comes by with several packages and she cannot get across. One monk graciously carries her and her parcels across, all the while she complained and insulted the one who served her. On the other shore he gently places her down and bids her good bye. Meanwhile, the friend, who is observing this, is boiling inside. He stews and fumes for hours, until at the end of their journey, he says, "I can't believe how awful and rude that person was! Why, she didn't even THANK you! How can you bear it?" To which the other mouse said, "I set her down long ago. Why have you continued to carry her all these hours?"
How many times do we seethe over something that we could have chosen to just let go?
This goes back to yesterday’s post about STUFF. It's heavy. Learn how to let it go.
Forgiveness does not suggest that what the other person did to you was right. It has you relinquish your right to punish them for their wrongs against you. Forgiveness doesn't imply that you have to trust them again. It has you give up your right to punish them . . . It doesn't indicate you have to stay in relationship with them. It just … you know where I am going with this.
Forgiveness has you set them down so you don't let them ruin the rest of your day. Or your life.