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"Your call is very important to us …" – no, actually, it isn't.  After spending approximately FIVE hours trying to get an issue resolved with an insurance company (and still failing to do so), I am so done with the phone trees or whatever it is called when you have to push 1 for English.

I'm asked for information to "speed up the process" … so I dutifully enter myriads of numbers.  Yet when I finally do get a live person, they invariably ask for the same information all over again.  Four times today the system just disconnected me.  Kicked me to the curb, as it were. Often I tried "0" at random intervals in the vain hope that someone who was human would come and rescue me from the cellular hell that I was trapped in.  I consider myself to be super tenacious, but this thing beat me.  Two Thursdays in a row.  Last week I gave them two hours of my life and this one as well.  There was another hour a couple of weeks ago.  


If I was God … 

I say / think that a lot.  It's probably good that I am not, because whole segments of society (like phone menus, football, recidivistic criminals, and cilantro) would be conspicuously in abstentia.


Alas, I am not The Almighty.  And so, for some time in the future, you too will have to continue to share in the pain and misery with the phone nonsense and insanity.

At least until God decides to do something about it.