I have been experiencing the “spinning wheel of death” of late. (Of course, do you even have to ask? I am a mac user!)
The sad fact of it all is that my hard drive is in it’s twilight years, and may not be with us for very much longer.
I tried a couple of things earlier; a software ‘clean-up’ program and an OS upgrade. Interestingly, both of these things did not solve the problem, but rather made it worse.
Sometimes we try to dress up the externals – new clothes, home renovation, new relationship, etc. But, if the issue is internal, those things are not likely to help. And, they might just add to the disaster. You have to deal with the DNA. Heal the soul. Fix the heart. Mend the theology. Reconcile the relationship.
If your core is having a breakdown, a new outfit doesn’t really solve the problem.
Everyone knows that creating prioritized lists helps you get stuff done. Or, at the very least, it makes you feel guilty. But I not very many people talk about REALISTIC lists. Maybe you should have two lists. The one with all the stuff you want to get done in your lifetime or this year or this month; and then the one for today.
Friday is the first day in my whole entire life where I accomplished EVERYTHING on my list!
But, before you all start hating me out of jealous envy, let me clarify: my list was realistic.
When I was younger, I used to make these horrible lists that even God couldn't accomplish in a day. (well, maybe He could). And you know how when something stays on your list and gets bumped to the next day and then the next … well, pretty soon a year has gone by … oh yea, I really should do that. (Like the grout around my tub that I bought the tube of silicone over a year ago …)
There were three things I did today that I think contributed to my sucess:
A) New dry erase board / calendar to write list on, because I get some sort of heady pleasure when I erase the item with my finger. It feels powerful. More so than crossing something off.
B) I really was careful to not add things like "finish my kitchen baseboards" because that felt un-do-able. (However, it is on tomorrow's list!)
C) I did ONLY the items on my board.
Normally, when I'm waiting for an attachment to load onto an e-mail and I'm trying to be efficient, I'll go downstairs to put the laundry in the dryer and I get distracted by emptying the cat box, and when I take the kitty litter out to the garage, I get side-tracked by the messy garage that needs sweeping, and while I'm going to get the broom, I get hungry and start making lunch, which, as I clean that up, I think, I should wash the dishes … and my e-mail has timed out by the time I get back.
Today, when I thought of the cat box, I said, "No, I'll do it tomorrow." And so I put the clothes in the dryer and came back upstairs and sent the e-mail. I did this all day.
As a result, my wonderful friends (I think you are still my friends …) who loaned me their ladder in the MIDDLE OF THE SUMMER … yes, you will get it back today. Because, just as the sun was setting, I touched up the final bits of one of the sides of my barn (last item on my list). With God and all my faithful blog readers as my witness, you will get your ladder back TODAY! I did not abscond with it; it just kept getting moved to the next day's to do's.
So, fair readers … you can do it too. When you're making your lists and checking them twice, cross some things off and make it do-able. You will be so much happier. When I wiped that last item off my dry-erase board, my endorphins were singing inside me. Better than drugs, I tell you.
So I joined this 21-Day Blogging Challenge put on by Jeff Goins (someone who has some great podcasts, btw – put his name in the itunes store search and you can access them for free). Even though I have been blogging for about 9 months (!), I thought the challenge could perhaps tighten up some of my nebulous spaces. (Would those be called Nebuli?)
Anyway, his challenge yesterday was to find your focus: Who am I and what do I want to say?
Question One: What is the SUBJECT of my Blog?
What am I passionate about?
In what topic do I have expertise or a desire to learn?
What could I write about for a year without running out of ideas or energy?
I started out to write about intentionality, and I think, with few exceptions, this is exactly what I have done … YAY! I am on track.
Question Two: What is my THEME?
How can I break this subject down into its various components?
What do I want to concentrate on?
Is there a specific manner in which I want to attack this issue? What will my writing "voice" be? (e.g. Humorous, sarcastic, practical, anecdotal, etc.)
The answer to this comes from my friend Carolyn … who told me I write with a kind of practical everyday wisdom … this was helpful feedback, because some days, it feels a little muddled inside.
Question Three: What is my OBJECTIVE?
What do I want to accomplish with my writing?
What impression do I want to leave?
What's my goal? How do I measure it?
This one is tricky. A) I want to influence people and be value-added. B) I want to create a feeling of "Tribe" amongst people who follow the blog. Like we get each other on some levels. C) I want to encourage people … to let them know that being human is okay. D) I want to learn how to create something larger than myself … really big. By the end of this year, I will begin utilizing all forms of social media and see where this thing goes.
So the reason for the post today is that I thought Jeff's questions are awesome for everyday life as well as a blog. We all have subjects, themes and objectives to our lives.
The puppies are supposed to go back on Thursday. I was asked to watch them for 12 days, and due to their illness (and therefore unfitness for adoption) they missed the "super adoption day" at the Humane Society, and as a consequence, we've had them for six weeks today.
Around week three, we started contemplating keeping one of them. But one puppy is hard to manage and so then we pondered keeping two. Some days that seemed right – they are so sweet and responsive. Other days though, it seemed like something hard. I have spent a lot of time with them; training them, caring for them, just being with them. I'm quite attached. Yet I kept asking myself, "What could that time be invested in instead?"
Around the beginning of this week, I began to feel pretty weary. (At week 5 we agreed – only one dog). Mid-way through this week, I was really seeking God about this little dog. God whispered, What do you want to do?. It's true, we could give him a fantastic home. He loves running across the acres and he enjoys all the other animals. He would have a great life. No, what do you want?
I want to be a writer. I want to finish painting my barn. I want to visit my daughter in Seattle. I need to finish a water line project that has dragged on all summer. I want to do a better job of encouraging my friends and hearing from God more. Honestly, I don't want a puppy right now.
As soon as I leveled with myself, I realized how much I really don't want another responsibility. And when I told the Humane Society rep this and I made arrangements for them to go back on Thursday for their next adoption event, I realize I feel relief. It's like something inside me is saying, "I can make it until Thursday."
I didn't realize until I stepped into the waters of a "no" …
How tired I was. How ready I am to have it over. How close I was to making a wrong decision.
How just because I can meet a need and do a great job and really make a difference in someone else's life … that doesn't necessarily mean that I am supposed to do it.
Sometimes someone else is supposed to jump in and fill in that gap.
