Fear paralysis – it’s a real thing. It stops us from going to the dentist or the doctor. It prevents men from initiating with a woman; or vice versa. Fear shuts down good ideas. It whispers that you are sub-standard and that no one would want to hear what you have to say.
I have always thought of fear as a hungry dragon; a bully. Someone who will take whatever ground you give it and unashamedly ask for more.
Many of you know that each year, I try something new. 2015 it is the year of writing – in public. I have long desired to publish a book – this blog is the beginning of that process. Putting something out there for people to engage with.
But it’s scary.
More so that I would have anticipated.
It is fear producing, because I can’t sit down with you and read your expressions. I can’t tell if you are misunderstanding what I am trying to say. I can’ t add extra words or fill you in on the back story. I can’t know where you are coming from as you read my words. Perhaps I will say something and you will disagree. It’s allowed. We all have our own opinions. Yet, in a virtual format, I see people being more direct (and rude) than they are in person. Anonymity seems to give license for aggression. For a die-hard introvert who is fairly private, an online presence feels somewhat naked.
Yet, I love to write. And I feel I have something to offer to the world, to you.
My writing is about exploring this – pushing both of us to examine our lives and stretch for better versions of ourselves. Some of the content will be quite practical – really, about making decisions to streamline life. Other posts will dive into the emotional, philosophical, WHY spaces of our lives. Because all action comes from a deeper ‘why.’
So. I dance with my fear.
I invite you to join me to dance with yours. To comment, to share your stories, to “Like” and “Tweet” and “Share” – I am looking for People willing to give feedback. Fellow Travelers. Allies. Explorers.
An app that senses the daylight and adjusts your computer screen with a sepia tint that is much kinder to your eyes than the normal glarish blue glow. It takes a little while to get used to the color change, but it is great on the eyes; and … its
Should you wait until someone shows responsibility to give them more
or
Should you give them responsibility to grow them up into it?
Really, neither is right or wrong, but they do come from different mindsets. The first proposition really takes into account the overall safety of the venture. There is very little risk involved for either party. The latter requires that both risk. It may not work out well.
When I was younger, I definitely employed and preached the first; now that I am older, I feel like I might lean more toward the second. Because sometimes people don’t know what they’re capable of until someone trusts them with something. Whether they succeed or fail, either way, hopefully, they will grow. And growth seems more important than safety. Usually, they are in opposition to one another.
I Have a young friend who just lost a close “family” member – those friends you adopt into your family and they are just that. He died the day before his 23 birthday.
What a shock to all who knew him.
Nothing profound or lengthy here – but you know that thing you have been putting off doing or saying? Either because it’s too hard or makes you uncomfortable or you’re too busy, or too insecure?
I was talking to a friend the other day about how I was systematically trying to change my internal ideology and how difficult it is to do. Partly, this arises from the fact that you are basically blind to yourself – you live inside you, so it’s hard for you to step outside of your thinking errors or even underdeveloped thoughts.
I recently read The Four-Hour Work Week and was delighted to see that over the last two years, as I have expended monumental effort to change my internal ideologies, I have discovered and implemented the very ideas that Tim Ferriss is promoting in his famous book on time / life management.
Two helps he proposed that I have adopted:
1) Reduce / Eliminate meetings of all kinds. If you can’t get rid of the meeting altogether, see if you can deal with it on the phone or via e-mail. Never have a meeting without an understood goal and end point. This has saved me TONS of frustration and many hours.
2) The Customer is Not Always Right. From a business standpoint, this means get rid of your most high-maintenance customers. They suck up 80 % of your time and energy and give very little back. For someone not in business, this means look at who creates drama in your life and do something to reduce your exposure to these types of people.
